THE FLAMING TEMPER

Clearly, this AU is based on the third-season episode entitled "The Flaming Planet." Never did Smith have more clashes with Robinson and West than in that episode.

            West had just grabbed Smith's arm aggressively, hauling him around 180 degrees and saying, "We don't like it and we don't want to hear it, Smith!" He seemed to zestfully enjoy the process of being rough and imposing with Smith.

            Smith fussed back, "Spare me your bullying tactics, Major. You can't frighten me; I shall say whatever I please, whenever it pleases me."

            In this alternate universe, West's eyes lit, and he challenged, "What did you just say?! Did you really say that I can't frighten you??!"

            Robinson's gaze pierced Smith as well, his eyebrows raised meaningfully.

            Instantly insecure, Smith fumbled meekly, "I think perhaps I misspoke."

            West was grinning almost sadistically, as Robinson warned him, "I'd guess that maybe you did."

            Smith stammered, "I...shouldn't have said 'can't'...I should've said 'mustn't.' Because it's cruel for you to always frighten me, Major," he explained timidly.

            "So, you didn't really mean to challenge me?" West had made a fist, but not raised it; it hung at his side, but Smith noticed it and tensed. West and Robinson both followed the older man's gaze and tried to resist grinning at him and at each other.

            "No, no, I didn't. I wouldn't. Ever. Truly." Smith gritted his teeth and tried feebly to pry West's fingers from his arm.

            Robinson remarked, "Smith, go to your quarters. If, that is, Don decides to let you go."

            Pleased that Robinson had left it up to him, West restrained Smith a moment longer, relishing his supremacy, and watched him squirm, and then casually released him. Without a word, Smith tiptoed away and went below-decks.

            So, in that universe, Smith was even edgier when West went to his quarters to demand that he accompany him to the planet's surface in the pod.

            When West stuck the laser pistol into the back of Smith's head, Smith ducked away and whirled to face him, saying, "Now surely, you are not going to murder me in cold blood! You know as well as I do that the Robinsons would never forgive you a thing like that! Even the professor couldn't forgive murder, even of me, and the others certainly wouldn't!"

            West eyed him. "You're right." He holstered the weapon. "That was a bluff. This isn't." This time, he raised a fist, instead of just leaving it down by his side.

            Smith's eyes widened; he gulped, choked, and submitted. "I surrender!" he gasped.

            Once down on the planet, when Smith resisted entering the cave, West used his same line as in our universe, "Which would you rather face, Smith? What's inside there, or me?!" This time, a far more jittery Smith hastened to reply, "I'm going; I'm going!"

            Later, when Robinson was the one trying to get Smith to reenter the cave, and the latter balked, the former raised a fist and demanded, "Do we have to do this every time we want you to do something?!"

            Smith repeated himself, "I'm going; I'm going!"

            Robinson remarked, "You know, the day will come when we'll get tired of merely threatening, and just follow through."

            Smith eyed him with tears in his eyes and hastened to obey.

            In this alternate universe as well as in ours, Robinson and West both turned to glare at Smith when the self-serving older man suggested the Robot as the solution to the Sobram's needs. In both universes, West took a few steps toward Smith threateningly, and Smith hastily retreated from him.

            But only in the alternate universe, Robinson and West detained Smith in the control room upon their safe return, and that of the Robot, and they sent everyone else below-decks.

            "We want to talk to you," Robinson said evenly.

            "Yes?" Smith watched the two of them wide-eyed.

            "You 'volunteered' the Robot, just to protect yourself," the professor said scornfully. "And do you have any idea what that did to Will?"

            "I...don't understand."

            "Well, then, I'll spell it out for you," West told him in disgust. "It hurt Will to suffer what he thought was his last goodbye with the Robot, and especially in front of so many of us, and particularly including a stranger."

            Robinson took it up ruthlessly, "You had to see, as we did, that Will wanted, and needed, to be able to tell the Robot he loved him. But he couldn't do it, because all of us were watching. He was embarrassed. And that cheated him out of what he needed to say, at a time when he thought it was his last chance to say it."

            "But what has that got to do with me?" Smith managed, before sharp looks from both men silenced him.

            "You caused the entire thing: by offering the Robot, by suggesting the removal of his tape, and by being in a hurry to remove it, even as Will asked you to stop," Robinson retorted with unconcealed hostility.

            "And then, to compound it," West accused viciously, "You didn't even recognize Will's need to be alone with the Robot, to say what he needed to say, without an audience. No, you had to downplay the importance of the loss and rush him instead."

            By this time, Smith was panting with fright as he watched them silently.

            Robinson went on, "Remember what I asked you today, when you tried to refuse to enter that cave with me...."

            "Just as you had with me earlier," West admonished.

            "And I asked you," Robinson continued, "'Do we have to do this every time we want you to do something?!'" He demonstrated a fist as he'd done that prior occasion.

            West went on, "Just as I had asked you, 'Which would you rather face, Smith? What's inside there, or me?!'" Now he raised a fist as well.

            Smith swallowed hard, and backed up several steps, but he ran out of space fast, as the younger men had positioned him, maneuvered him, very near a wall even before they'd begun.

            Now, both fists were up and both men approached slowly, menacingly.

            Smith plastered himself against the wall and stood gasping.

            Now, Robinson demanded, "And then do you remember what I told you would happen one of these days??"

            "Please don't!" Smith implored, shaking his head as tears streamed.

            "I said, 'The day will come when we'll get tired of merely threatening, and just follow through.'"

            "Oh god please...!"

            "Perhaps that day has come," West hinted.

            Smith's pleas dropped to a whisper. "No.... Please.... No...." Then, he fumbled, "If...you'll let me go..., I'll go right now and apologize to Will...."

            "No, you won't," said Robinson sternly. "That would make it worse. That would embarrass him all over again, by letting him know that we know what he wanted to say and couldn't."

            West added, "You always think that an apology will fix everything. You always think that if you say you're sorry, that all will be forgiven, no matter what you've done."

            Smith's badly trembling hands extended feebly before him, in an obviously futile attempt to ward off blows. His breathing was decidedly unsteady.

            Robinson continued, his fist still brandished, "So, will it be this time...?"

            "No!" Smith pleaded softly.

            "...Or next time...?"

            Smith's chest spasmed in terror.

            West took over, "...Or the time after that?" He moved his own fist closer to Smith's face.

            Smith's expression crumpled tearily. "Or never???" he begged desperately.

            "That one seems pretty unlikely," Robinson told him firmly.

            "Oh god!!! Oh no!!!" Smith sobbed.

            After pausing a beat, West said, "So, we're going to let you worry about that. Worry about when."

            Robinson and West both dropped their fists, and moved back to their stations at the instrument panel of the ship.

            Smith stared, scarcely daring to believe that he would get out of it this time. Hardly making a sound, he croaked, "May...I...leave...now??? Please??? Sirs???"

            They glanced at him casually over their shoulders. Robinson responded, "Yeah. You can go."

            Smith turned and fled.